This will take some getting through as I take you along a tortuous path of my thoughts on what it takes to become all that you can be!
When people speak ill of you:
One of the first things I would advise is to “take no notice of what others think of you, or say about you”.
It is difficult, I know, especially in these days of Social media and instant experts springing up out behind every rock and Parental basement!
One of my favourite replies to someones unfavourable comments is “They could well be right, but they had no idea of all my other huge faults or they would have mentioned those as well!” 🙂
Basically take it all with a pinch of salt… the person making ill informed or plain nasty comments about you, is in a bad place themselves.
They are more to be pitied than scorned. Rather than get angry with them, feel sorry for them.
Decide what you want to achieve:
I do not believe in small steps… I do not believe in setting small achievable goals one at a time.
99.99% of us will not achieve the goals we set – so why make those goals so f$%^ing small?!!! That way, you achieve next to nothing.
Set big F Off goals. Set huge goals… and if you only get 10% of the way there, you will still have done more than 99.99% of the population.
You will not have failed.
You will simply do what you have to do, in order to get where you want to be.
Don’t set a goal to become a bit better at Self Defense – set a goal to become the most lethal human being on the Planet.
How to improve:
This one is the easiest of all to get right and yet it is the one that the vast majority get wrong. Most of us never improve year on year. Everyone will say how you will degrade with age.
Everyone believes this to be true and therefore it becomes true. You allow yourself to degrade. You allow yourself to slow down. You allow yourself to become weak.
I say – F$% THAT!
I say I will get faster, stronger and better EVERY SINGLE day!
I will make each and every technique better in some way, every single time I train.
I will ALWAYS look for ways to improve EVERY aspect of my training.
I do not care if I look daft when I am trying to do this. I do not care how many times I fail at trying to improve… because I know that I will find a way to improve that day – even if it is just a fractional improvement.
You must not worry about looking like a Plonker, or making a complete hash of techniques in training.. that does not matter in the slightest.
Just be content to know that you are striving for improvement and that you will do it.
Remember this: Excellence is just lots of little things done well.
Think about that quote and how it can be applied to your training. How it can be applied to one simple technique… break that technique down into its constituent parts, improve each part by a fraction…. put it all back together.. and BOOM.. you have a massive overall improvement.
Who you hang out with
This is a horrible truth… but it needs saying.
You are the average of the people you hang out with.
If your 5 closest friends are a bunch of pot smoking, coke snorting, beer guzzling house burglars… then it is odds on that you are as well!
We tend to hang out with people who are, in some way or other, like us.
Now, that could well be a great thing and everyone could be great people and always doing the right thing.
BUT… If you have friends who are tossers, then it is time to part company… because, you are one step away from being a tosser as well… if you are not there already.
Think of it like this… when you go training, do you want to train with people who are better than you, so that you can learn and improve? Or, do you want to mix with people who stand around talking about training as they get fatter and less fit each and every day?
Don’t be too serious
Whilst I am deadly serious about my training and the improvements I want to make, I do not take it all too seriously. What I mean by that, is that I like to have fun with my training.
I want to enjoy the journey and take the time to “smell the Roses” as it were.
If I make a dumb mistake in sparring and get tagged on the chin, or get caught in a stupid lock in grappling – I would be the first to “take the proverbial” for what happened.
Do not be afraid to laugh at yourself (because other certainly will laugh at you).
Remember this: If you learn to laugh at yourself, you will always have something to laugh at!
A while back I was extolling the virtues of training for balance and how once we understand balance correctly – we are always in balance and our opponents are off balance etc etc etc.
Literally the moment I had finished my diatribe about balance, as I walked away, I tripped over! SUPERB… I cracked up
A couple of people thought I had done it on purpose… I had to assure them that I was in fact a clumsy git.
It does you a world of good to mention the mishaps and to be able to laugh at your own mess ups.
Don’t take it on board:
Too often we listen to what others have to say about us and let that bring us down.
It may be an off the cuff remark that somehow gets into our head and has an enormous negative impact.
This is a difficult one to get right – but there are many times when we need to take no notice of what someone has said.
Often other people views and negativity can become almost contagious.
Do not allow their “Virus” to weaken your system!
These are the people saying things like “You can never do …..” or ” Why are you even bothering to try….”
Have a ready to learn outlook
I have lost count of the number of times I have heard the line “We have that in our system”
This is usually said by someone with next to zero power in their strikes, when being taught how to actually hit.
They want to move on quickly to the next phase of training – due to their lack of ability in the current phase.
We MUST be ready and willing to learn and to improve. I am looking for ways to improve each and every day. If someone has something to show me, I am ready to learn.
If I can’t make it work, it does not invalidate their technique. It just means that it does not work for me (unless it is plainly dumb of course).
There is always a know it all somewhere – I call them google! One of my fave quotes to them is ” Does it take the mystery out of life?”.. they usually say “What?”.. My reply “Always being right”.
Remember this: If you think you already know something, then how can you be taught and improve?
This a small part of my musings.. let me know if you want more!